“A” Appearance:

Take good pics! Initially, this is the most important aspect of your online profile. First impression as they say. Find a photographer or friend that you are comfortable with so you are less hesitant about expressing yourself. This is usually a woman if you’re a guy. Make sure you smile in at least one of the pics if not all. Know your best angles and understand that lighting is key. Ask the opposite sex for their opinion of your look and attire. This could be hairstyle, posture, clothing fit, etc. Stick with solid colors if you’re a man so it’s not distracting to the eyes. It’s hard to go wrong with black, blue or earth tones. Skip the stripes, baseball hats, dead animals or fish in the pics. Use no more than 3 or 4 pics. Have at least one where you are dressed well, one casual and one outdoors. Be alone in each pic. You want your potential date or future partner to envision being with you in those pics. Essentially you’re future pacing.

Tip: Walk confidently and walk erect as if a chord is running from your feet through the top of your head and being pulled. Elevate your chin slightly. Do this whenever you walk until it becomes part of your muscle memory.

Take Away: Whatever your style, look or physique, own it. Carry it confidently.

“B” Beliefs:

In your online profile and in your everyday existence, come across as your confident self. Always be aware that there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence with a touch of self-depreciation. In other words, you know what you want but you don’t take yourself too seriously. This is the time to transform yourself even if you are satisfied. Mastery is never realized, it is instead a constant pursuit. Most women are unconcerned with where you have been. They instead want to know where you are going. Think “Man On The Move.” Always be chasing something. Idleness is death. Remind yourself all throughout the day to think in terms of “I Am” and not “I want to be.” The subconscious does not know the difference between what is real and what is not. It takes its orders from the conscious. This is the beauty of (your) life, your imagination. You can be whatever and whoever you want to be at any time knowing that underneath you are still you. “I Am” at all times.

Tip: Write down what you want and view it daily and rewrite it at least twice per week. Move it around so it’s not always in the same place. Think about it each night just before you go to sleep. Imagine yourself having already experienced what you desire.

Take Away: Confidence and certainty are magnetic. More often than not it is the Number #1 trait that women look for in a man. The confidence to lead in every situation.

“C” Communication:

Of the ABC’s this is the component that will separate you from your competition. Although “A” Appearance is the knock on the door, “C” Communication is what will open the door. It is where the “Game Is Won.” Be a very good listener and observer. Genuinely point out her strengths in her profile, but not the obvious ones that all the other uncreative guys have exhausted. As an example. If she is super good looking or has a fantastic physique, do not mention this, ever. She’s expecting it. Instead point out the not so obvious. Maybe she is a proud mom or passionate about work, cooking or yoga, etc. Focus on those. In doing so you have just separated yourself from the herd and got her to sit up in her seat - “Hmm this guy is different.” Talk more about her than you but be very careful not to show desperation. Think push and pull. Be a little elusive. This is what refer to in our course as “The Power of Take Away.” Don’t take too many conversations to cut to the chase and ask her out on a date with a few selections of days times and activities. Possibly grabbing a drink or a smoothie or taking a bike ride or gallery tour. Women want and respect a confident leader, therefore lead.

Tip: Get in the habit of smiling and saying hello to everyone from the common man or woman sweeping the sidewalk to those who think they are God‘s gift. Be the initiator. This will enable you to communicate more easily and effectively with women.

Take Away: In dating, and in life, the harder you try the more you will fail. If she creates too many hurdles, put a fork in the pursuit of her and move on.

Conclusion:

Take online dating with a grain of salt. Don’t judge anyone. It depletes your energy and may do the same to your character. Don’t feel you have to win. The person on the other side may not be rejecting you. We don’t know what has happened to them a day ago or beyond that has determined their state of mind. In other words they may not be rejecting you they just might not be ready based on a circumstance in their life.

It takes a lifetime to get to know yourself and that goes for the other person as well. Being on the same page (or vibing) at the same time isn’t easy. If it’s meant to be, it will happen just like anything else in life. Do your best by being prepared and your happy confident self and then just let the chips fall where they may.

“ When you are prepared, confident and unconcerned about the outcome, she will come to you and so will everything else.”